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About
Pablo Valdez Nascimento Salsa Picante y el Jugador de Partidos en la Cabeza de Nada Johann Gambol Putty Dingle Dong Von Richtofen Conquistador y el Rey de Arroz Con Pollo en la Manana
Like Sting, Bono, and Pele, this respected referee is known affectionately to his legion of fans by the simple mononym of Pablo. His early struggles with the English language did not dampen his pursuit of the American dream of someday owning 40 mules and an acre on which to let them graze.
Born to a pair of ambitious immigrant parents, his success story reads like a tale we’ve heard a million times. His Icelandic father, Carlos, migrated to the US in the 1960s while embedded with a school of Atlantic Salmon. It was in the land of the free that Carlos met Maria, Mexico’s leading cat juggler. Always pushing the envelope, Maria was killed when Pablo was merely 8 after she attempted to incorporate a small puma into her act.
Noticing that Americans seldom clean their own vacuum cleaners, Pablo found business success going door to door catering to this untapped niche of people who owned filthy electric brooms, carpet sweepers and dust busters. It was during this entrepreneurial phase that he also gained notice as one of the nation’s most respected arbitrators and began receiving calls from FOOFA (Football Organizers Organizing Football – Again). In 2024, FOOFA awarded Pablo the prestigious Golden Mustache Award, given to the person who…well, need I really explain.
About
Hurley McNare
Young Hurley McNare grew up in the former hamlet of Piano, TX with dreams of being a rock ‘n roll impresario. His journey saw him covertly auditing classes in the Sedentary Moving Arts Department at McGill University in 1960. Mr. McNare gained much acclaim in the streets of Montreal performing as Spartacus, Canada’s first talking mime. Thinking he was finally ‘on his way to the top,’ Hurley dropped out of college and founded the widely unheralded performance art ensemble The Sacre Bleu Mon Groupe. Then, in the early 70’s, McNare left the entertainment spotlight to pursue his spiritual calling by launching The Crusade for Cripes Sake, a nonprofit that reached 33 countries and spread the word about his faith to millions of nonbelievers.
Working with the Crusade’s chapter in Perth, AU in the 80’s, Hurley was canvassing atheist neighborhoods when he rekindled a friendship with his childhood friend, Ace Bondage. With Hurley as his manager in tow, Ace abandoned his digeridoo and flew to Philadelphia. It was in the City of Brotherly Love that the aspiring rocker formed Ace Bondage & the Briefcases, the band that pioneered the Punk-Yuppie Rock genre.
The Briefcases possessed the musical vision and gumption needed to unite the divergent forces of Punk and Disco. In the latter half of the 80’s – with visions of Bill Graham dancing in his head – Hurley promoted the revolutionary sound of the Bad Boys of Yup. The Briefcase Bop mushroomed into an insidious earworm that drove the masses onto America’s dance floors. Ultimately, this led to production of Hurley’s first film of little note, Ace Bondage & the Briefcases. The movie was completed shortly before Ace’s untimely demise in a plane crash near Ayers Rock in 1991.
Hurley next took his journalistic lens to Graceland, where he produced Elvis: D.O.A. (Dead or Alive). Hurley not only resolved the ‘Is Elvis alive’ riddle that was still bedeviling society, but he delved into previously unexplored areas of public interest such as ‘What was Elvis’ Yahtzee score?’ Mr. McNare went on to complete his documentary trilogy in 1995 with Closed Doors: The Integration of Baseball, which oddly enough was about…the integration of baseball.
Hurley closed out the 90’s forming musical projects of his own that included Blink 181, Matchbox 19 and Seven Inch Nails, all bands that came up just short of what the industry was seeking in that era. At the turn of the 21st century, Hurley was falsely accused by authorities in Philadelphia of being ‘the guy who let the dogs out.’ Though later cleared of the scurrilous allegations in the canine liberation incident, McNare left his homeland in disgust and settled in an ashram in Southeast Asia. Little is known about this period of Hurley’s life as he responds to queries about his years of navel contemplation by repeating the retreat’s mantra – What happens in Ashram, stays in Ashram.
What is known is that he emerged in 2024 with his creative spirit reinvigorated and he has delivered his first feature film, the comedy White Dudes Can’t Rap. The untold story of his relationship with legendary soccer referee Pablo Valdez will also be released in June of 2024 in the revealing youtube series, Pablo & Hurley.